June 27, 2014
By Mike Caccioppoli
Just when you thought Republicans couldn’t get any crazier, any sicker, any more psychotic here are three stories that should send a collective chill down the spine of anyone who still thinks we live in the greatest country in the world. Something that can never be as long as the Republican party exists in its current form.
Jordan Haskins (R) Michigan : This dude is running for the Michigan state legislature. He has served time for breaking into cars and performing a ritual known as “cranking” or “pedal-pumping.” It would seem that consists of breaking into a car and masturbating. Jordan would remove the spark plug wires and sit in the car and masturbate while the motor was sparking and making noises. This according to police reports.
Jordan also broke into the police departments car lot and went joy riding with the cars while jerking off. There is more to this “fetish” that has to do with getting aroused by watching someone struggle to get their car started. Oh yeah baby! Crank that engine! Oh yeah! Slam that gas pedal! Ohhhh yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
I mean I have heard of many, many fetishes but not this one. Maybe it’s a Republican fetish. Jordan wants to run for political office and make laws that you and I will have to abide by if we are in Michigan. Think about that. I have a very high tolerance for sexual desires even in politicians, but Jordan is also a criminal and as he states conservatism, real conservatism, true red-blooded American conservatism is about grit, hard work, loyalty and traditional values. Your family values.
My values? Does he mean spewing jizz all over the car steering wheel? No he probably means what most Christian conservatives mean which is that he is anti-gay, anti-choice and wants to take your rights away. It means punishing others for what he believes to have been his “sins.” In other words he is a hypocrite of the highest order.
But wait it gets worse….
Scott Esk (R) Oklahoma : Esk is running for the state legislature as well. He believes that gays deserve to be stoned to death. He says the Old Testament commands it and that while he wouldn’t go out of his way to write the bill, he would certainly give it a thumbs up. This isn’t a joke folks. He says it is the right of a society to punish its sinners. He’s another guy who wants to make laws that you and I would have to abide by if we were unlucky enough to end up in his state. And boy would we ever be unlucky!
Of course Esk is against the middle east fundamentalists such as the Taliban. Those guys are bad. Christian fundamentalists are all good. No worries. Esk is a psychotic individual. He belongs in treatment and needs to be highly medicated. But in this country he gets to run for political office and may very well win. I believe Esk truly believes this bat crap crazy shit and isn’t just saying it to get votes. Think about that. He TRULY believes it.
Is there ANY other county where someone like this would have any chance at winning public office, or even think about running? As Cenk Uygur says, even the Taliban isn’t this extreme!
When I can actually say that this last guy isn’t quite as bad, that really is saying something about the state of our union.
Timothy Ray Murray (R) Oklahoma : Whatever happened to the days of “Oklahoma!”? Murray who ran for U.S. Congress believes that the guy who beat him, Frank Lucas (R) is actually dead and this dude is a body double! I shit you not. Luckily in this case, Murray was soundly defeated in the primary.
It is widely known Rep. Frank D. Lucas is no longer alive and has been displayed by a look alike. Rep. Lucas’ look alike was depicted as sentenced on a white stage in southern Ukraine on or about Jan. 11, 2011. Murray said in a statement. He went on to say that Lucas and a few other members of Congress were hanged on television by the “World Court.”
Here is another guy who belongs hospitalized. But there he was on a ballot for U.S. Congress. He even got five percent of the vote!
This is your Republican party ladies and gentlemen. It is THE reason why the United States is no longer the best nation in the world. Hasn’t been for a long time. Can’t be as long as this represents one of the two major political parties. It’s impossible.
Which brings me to Hillary Clinton. Why? Because she recently was asked what her favorite book was and she answered, The Bible! I recently told a friend that she really just has to say that because she is running for President of the United States. But you know what, I’ve changed my mind. This is the book that talks about stoning gays to death and other crazy nonsense, if you believe the literal word and many do. You see that people running for political office certainly do.
Enough of the religion shit. It only causes harm. Nothing else. There is a separation of church and state in this country and it’s high time politicians abide by it. Any person who doesn’t should be impeached. I don’t want to hear politicians even talk about God anymore. Enough is enough. Legislation not indoctrination!
If someone like Hillary is going to talk about making this a better country, to go back to being a great country than she better drop her bible and pick up a real book. Otherwise Republican loonies like these will continue to fester and take over.
Our prospects don’t look good.