April 9, 2014
By Mike Caccioppoli
This is how Vance McAllister, Republican from Louisiana’s 5th Congressional District won:
FIGHT OBAMACARE…INVESTIGATE THE IRS…OPPOSE BIG GOVERNMENT..PROTECT THE UNBORN..DEFEND THE 2ND AMENDMENT….PROTECT TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE
That’s it. That is how he won the votes of the morons down in the bayou. No dueling banjos were needed. Just those cliche Tea Party talking points that made his constituents fall in love. Fall in love with a snake oil salesman who is just a wee bit smarter than those who voted for him. Just smart enough to dupe them with bullshit. Not one of those talking points would make the lives of the people (many of whom I’m sure are broke) better in any way, shape or form. Yet, they ran to the polls and voted for this pile of sleaze.
So of course it comes as no shock at all that McAllister was caught on video, tongue kissing a staffer. A female staffer. Mr. protect traditional marriage. Mr. family values. The guy who along with his cronies in Congress tell people that the gays will fuck up marriage, will ruin it for everyone. That the gays will desecrate the institution, so therefore he is against gay marriage. Now we don’t know if he actually believes the bullshit he shovels because a friend of his asked him about his sudden love of jesus and all things religious and McAllister said that he really doesn’t belive that stuff at all, but it gets people like him elected. Elected in a section of our nation where grown men marry 13 year olds and sisters and brothers fuck after their parents go to bed. Yes in that “neck of the woods” when a guy says he loves the lord and that gays are evil, he wins easily.
Yes there he was, Mr. Jesus lover, the married man, exchanging spit with a woman who worked with him. Now she has been fired, but he remains in office. Her husband said that McAllister has “ruined his life.” But McAllister hasn’t just ruined this poor guy’s life, he has ruined the lives of all he serves. Not to say I feel bad for these folks because they obviously, through their ignorance, and hatred for most other human beings, at least the ones who don’t walk around speaking in tongues, have brought this upon themselves.
But McAllister will be OK. He will just tell his blind followers that he is so so sorry. That he was weak and dumb, and that he will ask that same lord that he doesn’t actually believe in, for forgiveness. He will not only ask the lord but he will ask the good, god fearing people of Louisiana’s 5th, to forgive him as well. That he will put this all behind him and continue to fight for those talking points that got him elected.
He will continue to fight for marriage to be between one (cheating) man and a woman. That he will fight to keep government small yet force that government upon a woman’s rights. That he will fight to take away health insurance from the millions that now have it under Obamacare. He will continue to spend their precious money and time with phony investigations. That he will defend the right for Americans to continue to kill each other with guns at a record pace.
And they will forgive him.